Her name is Claire, she's an office executive
She wears white linen dresses with flair
She lives with a policeman
Plays squash on Thursday evenings
She's in love with Billy Joel
That's enough to kick her head in
The low-fat, high-fibre girl
Suns herself by the lake
She'll be late back to work
But her boss says it's OK
You know he really loves her
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy
The diet-cola girl
We all want to destroy
It's really hot, there's a breeze from America
But she's so cool driving around
Got the stereo up loud
Loves her Michael Bolton
You can spot her in a crowd
She's the one to hang your coat on
The low-fat, high-fibre girl
Suns herself by the lake
She'll be late back to work
But her boss says it's OK
You know he really loves her
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy
The diet-cola girl
We all want to destroy
Diet Coca-cola girl
Diet Coca-cola girl
Diet Coca-cola girl
Diet Coca-cola girl
She's not the real thing
She's not the real thing
She's not the real thing
She's not the real thing
She's not the real thing
She's not the real thing
Real thing